Hope Amidst Loss, Welcome To New Subscribers
Well into a New Year
| Belated New Year greetings and wishing all subscribers as special year ahead as you can hope for, even in these challenging times
Quote for the New year by Gabriel Garcia Marquez It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams. |
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| I am really pleased that the 3rd edition of Nurturing Natures is out this week, albeit with some OTT endorsements |
| Available on amazon |
| Cheapest deal, psychological therapy books |
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| Here is chapter 6, on culture, race and difference, all too pertinent to now, and it has been made available as a free download for subscribers. Click below if you are subscribed (or if you are not yet, click the one underneath first) |
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| Here is a video introducing the book, there are a series of these, one for each chapter, which should be available online soon |
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New Year, Beginnings and Endings |
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| Welcome to the New Year. As the year marches along and we say goodbye to the last, I am always pulled between mourning for the losses and opening up to the new, and as a cyclist I liked the graphic above and especially the hope for the eccentric old age of the last image.
In fact, I have always felt all too deeply both the sadness and the hope of beginnings and endings; clearly psychoanalysis is perfect for me! Even as a child i remember how the poignancy of another birthday meant that another year had passed as well as there being some hope in a new one. Feel free to make interpretations (!) but I still often find deep satisfaction in those semi-painful bittersweet moments, like sunsets and sunrises, and who can ever tire of them? So I dedicate this newsletter to losses and gains, to the bittersweet, as Susan Cain would say, to the beauty of beginnings and endings, to hearts full of feeling and lives lived fully. |
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| Above is a picture of Isca Wittenberg. Few knew more about the importance of endings than Isca who I was lucky to see near the end of her life and who continued to learn and grow until the very end. The MINDinMIND website have a moving recent interview with her. She had such a profound influence on so many generations of teachers, social workers and child psychotherapists and her humanity always shone through. She wrote her book on beginnings and endings at 90 and a few years later went on to add another chapter! Now thatโs something to emulate! |
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| We also lost the wonderful larger than life Camilla Batmanghelich, another whose kindness I felt deeply. She was an extraordinary, lively and controversial figure, often attacked, but thankfully exonerated, albeit too late, and who did so much for the children of this country. I remember visiting her projects and was so impressed by the profound changes in the lives of the most deprived young people. Both Isca and Camilla could hardly be more different, but both were powerful personalities, both put a few backs up, and both have and will have a lasting impact, and my goodness we need more people like that in the world. |
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| Above is a picture of the amazing wildlife that has sprung up around Chernobyl, despite the disaster wreaked upon it by humans. Sometimes hope can be found in the worst, sometimes not.
Without going all polly-anna-ish, I can also feel hopeful and heart-warmed to see much new life taking root, babies being born, new therapists qualifying, new ideas springing up, new books, new theories, paradigms being bust open, whether in our understanding of consciousness, or about trauma, or the body and nervous system, and what really helps in therapeutic work, Another hero of mine, Ray Peat died last year. he thought that consciousness did not just reside in individual brains, and he said in an interview before he died that when someone dies, then there are the same ideas, just less bodies. In other words, the ideas and something of their essence lives on. I had a little moment of joy as a new leaf appeared on a plant in my consulting room in the depths of winter! Yes new life comes even if some goes! |
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| Thus we welcome the new year in a tough moment, amidst war and hatred and animosity, climate disaster , scary right-wing demagogues threatening democracy. What is always hard (for me) is to hold onto is hope, but not defensively, and to face pain, but not as a defence against hope, and to live each day open to what is served up by the universe, too often unexpectedly.
Iโve always been with the great Marxist thinker Gramsci who argued for pessimism of the intellect and optimism of the will, or as Maria Popova wrote โCritical thinking without hope is cynicism, but hope without critical thinking is naivety,โ. One thing I fear is how much certainty we are seeing everywhere, especially via social media, and how much โotheringโ and divisiveness. Lets hope we can dare to look forward with uncertainty, stare the worst in the eye and retain hope and openness. |
A few blogs to enjoy |
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| James Kirby et al in the Conversation: Can we expand our circle of empathy? We can and we SO need to read here. Daniel Pick, psychoanalyst and history professor, in Psychiatry Times: Maria Papadima, good piece on low motivation in adolescents: Good piece by Chris Perry about the devastating effects of poverty and inequality on our social care system, read here. Fascinating piece on the perception of synchronicity read here. A really interesting set of papers about ecotherapy download here. Meditating on our planetary moment: |
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Podcast appearancesChild, Radio 4: I also did a podcast on The Journey Home with Mathew Starrit which spans attachment theory, psychotherapy passions, institutional dynamics and so much more listen here. |
| Welcoming in a new day on new yearโs day (yes on La Gomera) . Even holding the sun in my hand! |
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My current writing:It is all going slowly! I am still finishing the pregnancy book which i hope will be the first in a series of shortish guides. below is a tentative cover for it. Any thoughts? The next one i think will be on the perinatal period, especially the first year or so. I am also thinking of fathers and one on play PLEASE send in any stories or thoughts, advice, anything you think might be helpful to others. Its aimed at professionals and parents |
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Some upcoming events |
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| I am still trying to reduce events but a few of mine below coming up and a few others of interest as well:
February 10, 2024 March 9, 2024 March 20, 2024 March 23, 2024 April 19, 2024 April 19, 2024 And a few other amazing looking ones The great Beatrice Beebe for MINDinMIND Feb 18th details here TR Together: 3rd feb. The inimitable Phil Mollon on working with Mind, Body and Subtle Energy systems details here UCL Psychoanalysis Unit : Words matter. looking at the impact of verbal abuse details here Tavistock 9th International Infant Observation Conference 5th/6th April details here |
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Writing, formats and BookfunnelHaving tested the audio version of Respark via BookFunnel I have now also made cheap ebook versions of Affect and Emotion and re Respark .. The audio version is still available here and using this link gets 25% off, The ebook version is available and there is a 25% discount with this link An ebook version of Affect and Emotion is available here at ยฃ4.99 and a further 25% discount available on this link Feel free to email me if it doesnt work .. thanks |
| In case you forgot (!), Nurturing Natures 3rd edition is out now.
You can get on Amazon, Bookmark, (15% off) Karnac, Routledge |
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| โRESPARKโ is also available in all the formats below |
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| The other audible formats here and on Spotify and other platforms.
The physical book and ebook is available from Amazon or better, independent bookshops eg psychological therapy books Please do leave a review anywhere you buy it, it really helps a lot Affect and Emotion (the new edition) is available here on Amazon or psychological therapy books only about 6 quid too! Click on links below to view or buy these: Nurturing Natures,ย Affect and Emotion, Nurturing Children, The Good Life, From Trauma to Harming others For other journal papers and chapters papers and chapters see here |
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A few recently read, mainly non-therapy books (get links to the books by clicking on the pictures) |
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| Ian McEwan , Lessons: A bigger book than normal for him, a life story and saga which i was gripped by. i dont usually love all of his books but this had me from start to finish,, despite its length. I think because he was describing a life which mirrored much of my own and my generation. Touching, powerful and evocativbe for me anyway –ย details |
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| The Bee Sting, Paul Murray Beautiful and an always fascinating Irish family saga, a kind of (Frantzen) Corrections for a generation, with themes of social class, sex and sexuality and so much more, it was shortlisted for the Booker, it was gripping and funny although I was less intrigued by some characters than others. |
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| An amazing book about plant life, ie not only humans are sapiens, and he tells a great story, outlines the science beautifully to make his case and i ended with even more respect for plants than I had at the start see here |
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| Ellen Langer is a fascinating researcher, she uses the term mindfulness quite differently. This is her latest book which is fascinating. To give a flavour, one of her most famous experiments she got 70-80 year olds to live in a retreat for a week, and while there she made everything 20 years younger,, the music, furniture, pictures, food etc. Compared to a control group 2 thirds improved in mobility, cognitive scores, inflammation and much more. I am sticking pictures from the 80โs around my house! |
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| My psychoanalytic reading tends to be the older stuff, and i am highlighting a favourite author and text each month
This month the inimitable Neville Symington (link on picture and here,) such a good writer, so clear and yet so open minded, so much his own person and so able to encourage others to become theirs. I wish I had heard him speak at the Tavistock before he went to Australia. I read chunks of the narcissism book again, and below are a few others of my well thumbed ones. |
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| A quote from The Bee Sting, mentioned above:
“People imagined poems were wispy things, she said, frilly things, like lace doilies. But in fact they were like claws, like the metal spikes mountaineers use to find purchase on the sheer face of a glacier.” |
A Rilke, I know, a bit gloomy
Behind The Blameless TreesBehind the blameless trees And the soon-to-be lovers |
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I cant leave everyone so gloomy so here is a more uplifting one I still love by Maya Angelou, I suspect Neville Symington would approve .. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings _________________________________ ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐๐ญ๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐จ๐ซ๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ง ๐ซ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ค๐ฒ. ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ง๐๐ซ๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ง ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ก๐ ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ . ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐๐๐๐ซ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ก๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ง๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ณ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐จ๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐ ๐๐๐ฐ๐ง-๐๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฅ๐๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ ๐ง๐๐ฆ๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ค๐ฒ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ง. ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฏ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ก๐๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง ๐ ๐ง๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ฆ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ก๐ ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐๐ซ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ก๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐จ๐ฆ. |
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A few interesting podcastsConsciousness: Joanna Macy Widening Circles on Emergence : Richard Schwartz Internal Family Systems (IFS): Mitochondria: Death: |
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And finally โฆ Bad joke: How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. All he has to do is hold it in place while the world revolves around him. also funny (or not?) image below, in fact sent by my mother, and I have to say that this is perhaps the first joke she has sent that ever made me chuckle! (think about it!) |
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| And thanks to Danya Ross, who has sent me lots of jokes so this had to go in! |
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Thatโs it! Thanks for reading everyone |
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