Ready for sun and water and breeze .. a good summer recipe hopefully
(pic by my dear friend of over 50 years, Rob Glanz)

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Welcome to my pre-summer break newsletter.
Here we have a more holiday based selection, more book recommendations and research about why we should rest, a blog with linked themes, the usual free chapter and bits of news, events and (sorry) a bad joke or 2 at the end if you get that far!
I don’t want to ignore the perils of the world, the climate crisis raging, the war in Ukraine, the terrible plight of children in so many places (whether the Yemen or record numbers of homeless children in the UK) but we also need some respite, hence the flavour of this newsletter. It doesn’t mean we can give up fighting or hope, as Rebecca Solnit, who features a bit this month, wrote in an article I read today here.
I hope the blog below is apt for the holidays as it’s about being able to slow and appreciate moments.

Holiday blog: In Praise of Glimmering

I take some inspiration from psychoanalyst Josh Cohen’s book, Not Working, highlighted below, which is written in praise of inactivity and a healthy form of idleness I recently came across a term I had not heard before, a glimmer, I think coined by the psychotherapist Deb Dana, who is very influenced by Steve Porges’ work. A glimmer can be thought of as the opposite of a trigger, but the positive definition is that a glimmer is one of those tiny moments in our day when we sense some joy, or well-being, some easeful spark. It is linked with feeling safe, in the world, in our bodies and our nervous system so we take in and open up to the world in a different way read on here.

…and breath!

Brilliant clip on why we need emotional focus in good therapy!

Upcoming talks or events

Its a summer break so a heads up for a few things coming up after August. In the meantime I am thinking about doing some short online courses on some of the themes of Nurturing Natures. Keep an eye out.

Anne Alvarez legacy interview for MINDinMIND: They have had some brilliant therapists already but to my mind Anne is a true leading light and inspiration. Cant wait and I will be joining as one of her guests details here.

Withdrawal Silence and Loneliness and schizoid states: Nscience talk by Richard Erskine. important subjects: I titickets here.

Tavistock External Trauma Lectures: Advance Notice Susie Orbach 7th December details here.

The work of Francois Dolto: Conference thinking about her immense contribution, often thought of as the French Winnicott details here.

My events: Although trying to cut back I am involved in a few events in the Autumn. In September some online evening workshops in South Africa about Respark .. details of how to book soon.

A day on The Predictive Brain and Trauma for Adoption Plus details here
And soon after I am excited to be doing both a keynote and a full day’s workshop at the Compassionate Mind Foundation Annual Conference, details here.

Some of my other future events can be found here.

I am reliably informed by my friend and bird expert David Philips that what we spotted on our hot walk by the Kent estuary (before retreating to the pub) was a male common Blue Damselfy .. who knew?

A few blogs to enjoy

The Marginalian. I love this commentary on Gillian Rose’s book Love’s work, Here is a quote by Rose ‘However satisfying writing is — that mix of discipline and miracle, which leaves you in control, even when what appears on the page has emerged from regions beyond your control — it is a very poor substitute indeed for the joy and the agony of loving. Of there being someone who loves and desires you, and he glories in his love and desire, and you glory in his ever-strange being, which comes up against you, and disappears, again and again, surprising you with difficulties and with bounty. read article here

Creaturely Migrations on a Breathing Planet: A most fascinating and beautiful essay which had me awestruck about nature and migration and new ways of thinking read here

Solace and saudade: In the face of an inscrutable, indifferent universe, the author suggests we cultivate a longing for the elusive horizon read here

Rebecca Solnit (once again, well she is special) : The hope of living in dark times read here

Any writing news?

Writing is slow but I still have the odd plan!!

Above is the new cover for Nurturing Natures, out at the end of the year, I hope people like it, and thanks to everyone who has helped with this immense task!

I am planning some short guides which might be spin-offs from Nurturing Natures. The first one will probably be on Prenatal Life, if anyone has good research to share?

I have a new paper in the Psychoanalytic Study of the Child called ‘Brainy Kids Skating on Thin Ice: New Thoughts on Psyche-Soma and How Minds Over-Develop to Cope with Trauma’ ..see here

‘RESPARK’ is available in audible format here and on Spotify and many other platforms

The physical book and ebook is available from amazon or better, independent bookshops eg psychological therapy books and the reincarnated Karnac books here, yay!

Please do leave a review anywhere you buy it, it helps a lot
Affect and Emotion (the new edition) is available here on amazon … or psychological therapy books …. only about 6 quid too!

Click on links below to view or buy these:
Nurturing Natures,
Affect and Emotion
Nurturing Children,
The Good Life,
From Trauma to Harming others

For other journal papers and chapters papers and chapters see here

Thanks Andrew
Difficult times . I want to say goodbye and give gratitude for the life of Andrew Cooper, (below) whose funeral i attended last week. Andrew was a deep thinking man, very much his own person, Professor of Social Work, committed to psychoanalysis and its social and political applications, he led the Tavistock Policy Seminars with gravitas as well as wit and integrity for years. i was very grateful he was one of my supervisors for my Doctorate; I never left a meeting without a new insight and seeing the world slightly differently. A big loss to so many. More about him on the Tavistock website here

A few recently read books recommended

Not working: Josh Cohen : I loved this book and it challenged me about my work ethic. A good summer read .. the below is from the flyer ‘
More than ever before, we live in a culture that excoriates inactivity and demonizes idleness. Work, connectivity and a constant flow of information are the cultural norms, and a permanent busyness pervades even our quietest moments. Little wonder so many of us are burning out. In a culture that tacitly coerces us into blind activity, the art of doing nothing is disappearing. Inactivity can induce lethargy and indifference, but is also a condition of imaginative freedom and creativity.
Psychoanalyst Josh Cohen explores the paradoxical pleasures of inactivity
Get here

Ruth Ozeki: I loved this book by prize winning novelist and Zen nun Ruth Ozeki. Sensitive, deep, modern and yet timeless . brilliant characters, a boy who hears voices in intriguing ways, a magical realist sense of objects that move and have life, challenging our sense of the world, great characters, a homeless philosopher, mother and son, friendship, anxiety, love, kindness, its all there.. see here

Ministry of the Future: I wasnt sure whether to recommend this. A dystopian novel, huge, and rooted in ecological thinking and post-apocalyptic ideas. A story too, which does keep one gripped, and crammed with climate science. Not for everyone but i am so glad I read it get it here

Outlive: Peter Attia: I have an unhealthy interest in health (!) and have long followed Attia’s podcast, The Drive. This book puts his thinking and the science he collects into a brilliant book taking in what makes for a long and healthy life, from exercise to diet the controversies around fasting and so much more, and at the end his very personal account of his psychological issues and why emotional health is so important. It’s easy to read, packed with amazing facts and very touching. I also listened on audible and liked his narration Get here

This poem by Mark Neppo (pictured below with Oprah!) captures what i often feel

by Mark Nepo
Everything is beautiful and I am so sad.
This is how the heart makes a duet of
wonder and grief. The light spraying
through the lace of the fern is as delicate
as the fibers of memory forming their web
around the knot in my throat. The breeze
makes the birds move from branch to branch
as this ache makes me look for those I’ve lost
in the next room, in the next song, in the laugh
of the next stranger. In the very center, under
it all, what we have that no one can take
away and all that we’ve lost face each other.
It is there that I’m adrift, feeling punctured
by a holiness that exists inside everything.
I am so sad and everything is beautiful.

A favourite view and I am always struck by how sunsets, like birthdays and the end of holidays, let alone births and deaths, have for me a bittersweet sadness and appreciation of the transience of life

Research bites

Noticing nature boosts wellbeing: Do it! see here
Boredom predicts curiosity .. lets be bored in the summer see here for example

Lots of screen time is bad for us .. we all know it. Lets turn it off a bit . So much research these days eg here

And finally …
Come on guys .. no jokes sent in months.. nearly run out
Me: I’m terrified of random letters!
Therapist: You are?
My therapist told me my narcissism causes me to misread social situations.
I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

That’s it! Thanks for reading everyone and genuinely wishing rest, recuperation, glimmers, pleasures, Spark and anything else needed in the right measures.